honesty is the best policy, the truth shall set you free, i chopped down the cherry tree.
Whatever.
fact is, lying is a necessity. we lie to ourselves because the truth.. well, the truth just freaking hurts. sometimes to a point where it might shut you down completely. i think its fair time i stopped lying to myself, snap out of it and realize that what i want is to not want this or you anymore. because i am emotionally drained, i am sick and tired of trying, of giving and i am left with nothing but this unsettling feeling in my gut. screw it, screw you.
and at times like this, my big brother forgets himself for a moment and everything about him is me. he takes my hand and he makes me laugh my troubles away. because my brother, he has the ability to do that, to make the world a slightly more bearable place to be in when everything else turns against me.
okay enough already, i think i'll be fine. let's be gay.
this is for Kimmy who turned 17 on Christmas Eve. it's a little delayed but hey, better late than never right? she's the brains in our little plastic group and without her, Ferlin will one day screw us all over, no doubt about that. even though she's so bloody indecisive when it comes to well, everything and even though one day her sudden outburst of bitchy-to-the-max comments might get us beaten up on the streets, i still love her. i hope you had the time of your life that night babe, because i sure as hell did. let's get 17 over with, turn 18 and be legal (:
oh bummer, school tomorrow. bye.
