"Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there's nothing to make it last"
-

i had a pretty rough day today, felt a little banged up and a little sick from yesterday's rain. my dad and i got into a really huge arguement. and we were just so absorbed and so concentrated on making sure our voices were louder than one another that at one point, i even forgot what we were arguing about. he left for work and i was left to cry for hours in my room, not even acknowledging my mother and brother. but thats past us now, we're fine.

its just that, the whole moment made me feel vulnerable somehow and it made me just a little bit more sensitive. every little thing that didnt go my way made my tears form in my eyes- like when my brother didnt let me watch my tv programme, i whined so bad even i felt like slapping my own self. geez.

i spent the entire day at home, reading. i called in sick for work because the last thing i wanted to do was to fake a smile the entire day. i gotta admit, i miss school and im pretty darn excited to go to the sec1 camp tomorrow, just a few more hours now (:(: like i said, ive been reading the whole day. Nicholas Sparks's latest one: Dear John. honestly, the first part of the book was kinda boring. but when the love story started to unfold, i couldnt help but weep everytime the author described of their time together. it was magical. i know im a walking cliche but thats how it felt. it was as if i was right there witnessing their moments together. and i came to realize that i didnt cry because i thought it was romanic or whatever. i cried because deep down, i knew that that was what i wanted for myself. that my heart yearns for that kind of companionship. one that comes at ease, with no strings attached and they're together because it feels right.

the story is just another typical story. one that tells about the struggles the complications and difficulties of being in a long-distanced relationship. here i am with someone i can see everyday if i wanted to, and yet i never took the opportunity to make that happen. and neither did he. and it questions me, it worries me. anyway, if u want, get the book and u'll know what i mean.